I am scared. I'm trying not to be, but I am.
I'm starting this blog to serve as an outlet for me to share my feelings as we delve into a territory of the unknown. As those who know us are aware, Bob and I lost our daughter, Evelyn, at 39 weeks gestation on July 26, 2010. As of yet, we don't know the cause of her death, but all signs lead to the understanding that we may never know what caused our little girl's heart to stop beating so close to the end of our otherwise healthy pregnancy.
I've come to terms with that and have tried to look on the positive side. With no definitive cause, the most likely case is that it was a terrible freak accident probably having to do with her cord. Why is that positive, you ask? Well, I look at it that way because it means that there is very little chance of it happening again. With no other obvious signs, our outlook for a second pregnancy is good.
So, even though I am scared, I am also hopeful. Hopeful that Evelyn will have a healthy brother or sister someday soon. Hopeful that, as scary as a new pregnancy will be, it will end on a more positive note.
Don't get too excited. There is no pregnancy to speak of as of yet. We're *ahem* working on that and will share the news once we feel comfortable.
Until then, as scary as this time is, there's hope. Hope for a brighter future yet to come.
Thank you for coming on this journey with us!
